Grandma’s Celebrity Gossip

Our popular California columnist, busy as ever, vows this will be her final 2019 post. 

That Miley Cyrus is at it again. She’s the one with the singing hillbilly father (Billy Ray Cyrus) who never taught his daughter how to act like a proper lady. She’s the one on TV “twerking” her tuchis in front of the world with that no-goodnick one hit wonder and yeklRobin Thicke, whose father was that nice Canadian boy (Alan Thicke) a real mensch who was on the show Growing Pains, and he did the commercials for Fruit of the Loom underwear.  Robin died playing ice hockey with his other son — the good one.


Anyway, so this Miley Cyrus has been cavorting for years with the actor Liam Hemsworth. He’s Australian or Irish or whatever and has been in movies like The Hunger Games and other schtus for kids with short attention spans. Finally, in 2018 they got a marriage license and less than a year later — Splitsville. She’s decided he’s a shikker and she now prefers the company of women only. Already she’s been caught cavorting with a new bummerkeh, Oy veh, and so many tattoos they both have they look like they just stumbled out of Uncle Billy’s Circus Sideshow.


Bill Cosby? In the news again. He’s the one who was tossed in the hoosegow for slipping all those women mickeys and doing the nasty to them. His wife Camille filed for a get and was ready to take her half of everything, but she changed her mind and decided to remarry him in the prison chapel. She said, “I still love him, and he makes me laugh.” If you asked me, she got a good look at him, realized he could drop dead any minute, and decided to hold out for the entire estate – all the mazuma.


And speaking of farchadat celebrities, Kim Kardashian, the one with the hooties so zaftig she could use them as a flotation device, now wants her husband, Kanye West, to get breast reduction on himself. She said they’re too big and he needs a “Diddie Downsizing.” That whole pack of narrs is addicted to plastic surgery, worse even than the late great Joan Rivers.


I’ve said enough already.



Vocabulary


Bummerkeh is Yinglish (which apparently is something like Spanglish) and means a female bum. i.e., a bad person, not a derrierre.   Possibly derived from the Yiddish word for “potato,” but possibly not.


 Get, or gett is the Hebrew word for divorce.  There’s a longer version, gettelsheen, but the single-syllable word is more common in the Anglosphere.


Schtus, roughly translated, means “nonsense,” as Grandma’s context makes clear.


Yekl apparently means an over-assimilating immigrant.  The word traces to a short 1896 novel called Yekl: A Tale of the New York Ghetto. In it, a young man named Yekl takes a different name, Jake, after getting off the boat at Ellis Island.  Grandma suggests that Canadian-born Robin Thicke has become, like Yekl, a shallow and ungrounded fellow.




Note


Billy Ray Cyrus made his fame with the 90s single, “Achy Breaky Heart,” but more recently he has worked with rapper Lil Nas X, on Old Town Road, a 2018 monster hit in the new Country Rap genre.  

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